Ten seconds into the Stayfree maxipad commercial: 
Commercial: Where will you be when you need to change your pad?
H:  WHOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA I didn’t see that coming.

When I say I don’t want to stop surfing the internet and sort laundry:
H:  I’m going to hang out with Leo because he is more fun than you.  [Seriously?  Laundry sorting is more fun than not laundry sorting?  I don’t think so.]

On losing his virginity:
Barney, HIMYM:  But James, what woman is going to want to have sex with me?  It’s not like I’m a backstreet boy.

Quotes from last night
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