It’s been a weird summer, and an even weirder week. Most of you know that I started a job rotation in late April, and that my husband moved away for the summer to take a fantastic yet far away internship. You probably noticed that the blog was floating in and out of focus, but you haven’t heard that I’ve been contemplating big life changes like pursuing a Ph.D. and teaching undergraduate classes, becoming a full-time reader and writer and thinker, and throwing in a potential cross-country move.
But this past week, my dad got sick. His sickness is neither permanent nor debilitating (for long, although he might argue that point), but it changed my perspective. This summer I’ve been a bit of an island: a pocket of humanity floating along mostly alone. Thinking about my future and my country and my politics. Spending the last few days intensely with my family was therapeutic.
It’s funny how your life is more exciting and “cooler” when you see it through another’s eyes. How having someone who knows you affirm your dreams of writing and thinking and teaching because, to that person, it’s obviously a central part of your creative made-in-His-image Soul. It’s funny how knowing that H will be home on Sunday makes Monday morning seem like a good idea.
My speech is still limited so my politics are still mine (you’re welcome, America), but I’m feeling a lit less lonely and embracing the fact that this life is not mine and the game is not mine to win or to lose. My gifts, talents, struggles and blessings are not for me, but for you. For shining light into darkness, for extending compassion to those in despair. And whether that is as counsel or teacher, professor or special friend, it’s pretty much the same.