Well, it’s 2:00 p.m. on Friday and I am not having my wisdom teeth removed. I feel about 60% coward and about 40% strong. I want to be proud of myself for doing what was right for me, but I still feel pretty embarrassed about canceling.
I even wrote out this whole blog post about why it was worth getting two teeth out today. I listed out reasons like lots of people survive having their teeth pulled without anesthesia during action movie torture scenes and it can’t really be that bad or he’d have lost his medical license or the very popular his rude receptionist probably won’t be doing the procedure, but in the end reason won out and I decided this oral surgeon just was not for me.
While I went back and forth over the issue all week, and had support from so many people during the past few days, my women’s Bible study group finally did it for me — in the end, if I can’t trust the office, then I shouldn’t put my mouth into the doctor’s hands. Yes, I hate the dentist every day and, yes, I am scared to get my wisdom teeth out every day. But this was more than that. I wasn’t just scared of the procedure — I had no idea about the procedure. I wasn’t even offered options for the procedure; I only knew they weren’t putting me under because I asked what time on Thursday I should stop eating and the receptionist flippantly replied that as long as I’m not getting general anesthesia I don’t have to worry about that. And that’s when I was like WHAT?!?!?!?!! and started freaking out and could no longer ask intelligent, well-reasoned questions.
The thing I was most afraid of this week was that H would be disappointed in me if I canceled, like I wasn’t tough enough to do what is right. And in the end, that was entirely ridiculous because when I told him what I had decided he said “Good, I thought it was ridiculous that you’d only get two out and then have to do this all over again for the rest.” And so while I tried to be strong and brave all week, he agreed with me that it wasn’t necessarily the best decision and was just giving me the space to make my own choice. He even said he knew I was reluctant to go to any dentist, and because of that he didn’t want to put any more second thoughts into my mind than were already there. [and no, he didn’t say these things in exactly these words, but I really want my blog sentences to be beautiful so I might have moved prepositions before their objects, etc. H does not really talk like Charles Dickens, at least not every day.]
So, here we are. I’m sure I’ll regret this delay when I start having tooth pain again during the Thanksgiving holidays, but I don’t need to rush into a procedure. It’s not like I’m bleeding out, open on a surgical table, and if this tooth isn’t removed right now I’m going to die. I mean, I just watched last night’s Grey’s Anatomy onDemand, and whoa buddy I am no where close to having that kind of a bad day. P.S. Did you guys see that? Oh man. Wow. It was almost second-season Grey’s good. And that’s saying something.
So, instead of freaking out, throwing up, getting lots of shots and being scared out of my mind for the next hour, I’m reorganizing my serving dishes into my beautiful new china cabinet, listening to Matt Wertz‘s Christmas Album (so good! Get it right now), and combining knowledge gleaned from my favorite food blogs into the best bread pudding recipe ever. And I’m going to hang out with my hubby tonight, make mojitos with my friend tomorrow, and thank God for the supportive and wonderful friends and family I have who all reached out to support me (and protect me from dental detriment) this week. You guys are fantastic.
P.S. My mom is very happy I am postponing, so that is reason enough. I forgot she reads my blogs and she was a little unsatisfied with my description of the consultation on Tuesday. To say the least.
Oh yeah, and one more thing — when I called to cancel and the receptionist asked when I wanted to reschedule, I said NEVER and told her that I had a terrible experience and felt unsafe in their office and would not be coming back. And she apologized on behalf of the doctor [with whom I never met or spoke] but NOT FOR HERSELF. I think she might have misunderstood how apologies work. But I said thank you nonetheless, because I am a very polite and well-raised young woman. ;)
- i hate the dentist (pinkbriefcase.wordpress.com)
- My Wisdom Teeth Extractions (mikemelbrown.wordpress.com)
- Pillars of Wisdom (seekinggodfindingself.wordpress.com)