Last night there was a storm in our neighborhood, and the power flickered quite a few times, the cable and internet went out, and I was jamming along to some slamming tunes until my computer stopped receiving charge from the power cord. And it didn’t just cut out all at once, but flashed on-off-on-off-on-off like a tiny version of a really bad sorority party light system — you guys totally had those too, right? Right?
I was SO mad, because I hate hate hate when my computer messes up (which is pretty often, not going to lie), and then H called. For some reason, he always calls when I’m having some sort of crisis or conundrum or panic or whathaveyou, and I’m pretty sure he’s starting to think I’m insane or depressed or something (probably all of the above). I need to pull my phone-self together. Sorry friends, but you already know that I absolutely HATE talking on the phone, and that I hate surprises, so surprise phone calls (a.k.a. every phone call in the history of the world) are the bane of my existence. It doesn’t mean I don’t love you guys, but seriously — if you text me and say “hey, can we talk at [random time]:00?”, I will love you forever.
SIDENOTE: I debated where to put that comma in the above quotation. It is clearer in the above-chosen placement even though I HATE putting punctuation outside of the quotation marks. E.B. White, why is it that your beautiful rules keep getting
massacred updated by modern scholarship?
I found a new computer power cord at Best Buy for “only” $63.00. The computer-tech/teenager working there explained that it is normal for computer power cords to die every year, or even more often, and that I shouldn’t hate/blame/throw away/otherwise destroy my laptop. If I’d ordered the $150 replacement cord from the manufacturer, it would have lasted almost a year-and-a-half before needing replacement. But, since I ordered the cheap-o one offline, this is to be expected. OH MY GOSH IS THIS FOR REAL??? It is totally normal for a product that costs over $50 to need replacing every year? Really? Sometimes I wonder about you, America.
So I call H to tell him the crisis was over and then, while we are talking, my blackberry totally freezes AGAIN. I wait for it to unfreeze and call him back and he is like WHY DID YOU HANG UP ON ME WHAT IS YOUR PROBLEM or some alternative that was polite and sensitive and then I’m like well, at least it wasn’t in a voicemail. Because my blackberry totally freezes a lot, including when I am leaving
professional (who are we kidding?) voicemails. Usually it’s at the end of the voicemail (or at least that’s when I notice), and I can’t hang up the phone, so my talking ends and then there is an incredibly long silence before the message ends. Classy, I know.
H made me purchase an iPhone that minute. But actually it took about 20 minutes because (1) Verizon tried to confuse me with data plans and (2) they have this weird credit card security feature that asks for your social, but it wanted H’s social because apparently he is primary and I am secondary (that’s right, women of America) and I didn’t know H’s social so I had to sort through our filing system and find our tax records but now, it is done. Decided. Over. I am going to be a touch screen-using iPhone owner who does things like post photos on Instagram and plays Angry Birds.
Oh, and then I tried to self-host my blog but found out that my url — pinkbriefcase(dot)com has already been purchased. AND that it isn’t even active, but some internet jerk bought it anyway and is holding it in the dreams-of-wordpress-users freezer section. But GoDaddy offered besteverpinkbriefcase(dot)com as a reasonable alternative so the door to blog hosting hasn’t closed just yet. ha.
And so now you know what’s going on.