Dear Iowa: Are you joking me?

I posted a few photos from my visit to the National Christmas Tree last night, and I have just a little more to say about this subject.  If you don’t know, there is a tree for every state surrounding the National tree on the Ellipse.  This grouping of trees is called the Christmas Pathway of Peace.  And it’s really great, full of fun things and adorable crafts.  H and I are walking around, trying to decide which one was our favorite (Louisiana?  It was a hard choice but that’s definitely one of the top five) when suddenly . . .

Iowa.  Holy Jeepers that tree was TERRIBLE.  They hung gourds on the tree that had sometimes been painted, sometimes not, and then wrote words that described Iowa and/or the gourd itself on the gourds with black Sharpies.

008

And yes, you are correct, there aren’t a lot of words that describe Iowa.  And yes, still correct, most of those words are not related to Christmas.  Here are a few gems for your Monday morning:

“Iowa is pig.” 

“Farms.  Pigs.  Cows.  Corn.” 

“Melt with 30 gallons of laughter.”  (Apparently this gourd was spray-painted white to resemble a concrete block?  A misshapen snowball?  The intended result is unclear.)

I wasn't joking.

I wasn’t joking.  That’s a red cow.  And another gem:  “Iowa is corn!”  This began an important philosophical discussion between H and myself where I said “Correction:  Iowa is a state in the United States of America” and H said “Well, actually, Iowa is mostly just corn.  Have you ever been there?”  Good grief. 

I know that kids aged 8-12 made these ornaments, that they were at a community writing center and probably had a lot of fun, so part of me feels bad for writing this post.  There’s just a bigger part of me that can’t live in a world where children old enough to have cell phones think that Christmas spirit means writing “Iowa is pig” on a gourd and mailing it to the President.  Sometimes, the truth hurts.

 

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